4 Things

     I turned thirty just about two months ago. It was surprisingly easier than I thought would be. The last few birthdays during my late twenties were brutal. Bar fights, dislocated shoulders, horrible drunken phone calls, and several owed apologies. Thirty on the other hand was fantastic. My older friends treated me as if they were welcoming me into some secret club. They talked about the awfulness of the anxiety ridden late twenties and that I should be glad to be done with them. They referred to the thirties as being, "the best years." One of my friends even said, "The best thing I ever did in my twenties was turn thirty."
    Like I said I'm only a couple months in but so far so good and I'm finding out that there is a part of me that doesn't totally mind getting older. What really made thirty easier to take thought, was a little revelation I had sometime last year. I think the period of time moving from the twenties to the thirties is when you gain something very important. Your first real...tiny little slivers...of Wisdom.
     I have a tough time talking to kids in their early twenties. The reason being is that I find most of them to be the same way I was back then; a fucking know-it-all. I think everyone goes through it a little bit. "I just graduated college. I have a degree. That means I'm smart. That means I'm going to have a job and know everything about it and the world and you." I get it. You literally just spent seventeen years in school so you feel that now you know a thing or two, but you don't. The truth is that most kids in their early twenties can fill a book with what they don't know, but they rarely admit that because when you're twenty you're stubborn. At least I was. I cringe when I remember being in heated arguments with older actors while I was still in school and thinking that I had the craft and the life of an artist all figured out. I didn't know shit my friends, and guess what? I still don't. But that is what I'm beginning to think is one beautiful things about getting older...admitting what you don't know. I think the more you think you know, the more full of bullshit you are.
     I only know four things. These were four ideas that at one point or another became personal beliefs that I now feel quiet strong about. I've decided to go ahead and share them with you reader friend. I hope you enjoy.

1. Nothing good ever comes from being negative.
    You all know that person. That pissy little rain cloud that walks around at work or maybe is part of your circle of friends and just bitches, bitches, bitches. That douche who can often be heard saying things like, "Fuck my life," or "I hate today!" If you don't know of anyone like that and you're thinking to yourself, "I say fuck my life all the time," then congratulations. You're the pissy little rain cloud douche of your group. Truth be told we're all guilty of it from time to time. Every now and again we all let this world get the best of us and we revert to the shitty behavior of a spoiled fat fifth grader. We pout, pound our fist, and try and spread our bad mood all over the place. After spending years working in two drama filled environments, theater and restaurants, and seeing this behavior come through on the reg from both my coworkers and myself alike, I had to stop and ask myself a question. Has this behavior every really helped a situation? The answer was no. Then that no lead me to a second question. Has this behavior ever actually made the situation worse? That answer was yes.
   If you're familiar at all with the law of attraction then you know what I'm talking about. If you don't know what the law of attraction is then allow the good folks of Wikipedia to explain:

The law of attraction is a metaphysical belief or theory, that "like attracts like," and that Human perception of what is positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative perceived results, respectively. According to the law of attraction, the phrase "I need more money" or "I don't have enough money" allows the subject to continue to "need more money" or "not have enough money". If the subject wants to change this they would focus their thoughts on the goal (having more money) rather than the problem (needing more money). This might take the form of phrases such as "I have more money now" or "I have more money than I need."


    And there you have it. So by indulging in the negativity of a situation instead of focusing on the positive, we actually dig ourselves deeper into whatever hole we're already in. Also, being negative is always the easy thing to do. It's the behavior of a child. On the flip side, seeking a solution for a problem and keeping up the spirits of those around you while you do it, is what grown ups do, what leaders do. It's the kind of behavior that people look up to, admire, and respect. It's not an easy thing to do. I struggle with it everyday and it's an art I'm not even close to mastering, but I think it's something worth shooting for.


2. You can't really do any work as an actor until you're off book. 
     Learn your lines. That's it. Should be the first thing you do. Until it does, you're worthless. Nothing will piss off people in the acting world, like a moron who drags his or her feet about getting off book. "Really, you figured out what kind of shoes your character would wear? That's swell. Now go learn your fucking lines." It should be the first thing that happens, then you can start to act. Got it? Moving on.


3. No man should ever wear UGGs.
    New York is a liberal place in all sorts of ways. It's part of the reason I like it so much. Fashion is no different. After being here for five years there are few outfits I see out on the street that will ever really shock me or make me look twice. You can't walk through the West Village in May without seeing at least one dude with dreads in plastic rain boots, silver butt shorts, and a pink tube top strolling along. I'm cool with that. It's part of the beauty of this city. People mind their own business for the most part. No one has time to give a shit what someone else is dressed like. 
   However, there is one ridiculous footwear choice that I occasionally see and I can't comprehend it to a point that it makes me angry. Last time I noticed it was at work about two years ago. I was waiting on this complete jerkoff who was at brunch, of course, with his hot ass model girlfriend. He was in his mid thirties and I could tell he was made of money. He asked to have the rest of his pizza wrapped to go and I said no problem. As the bus boy went over to clear his table I suddenly heard this guy screaming bloody murder. When I inquired as to what was wrong he told my that the bus boy didn't stack the plates correctly and the meatballs on his pizza were getting smushed. I assured him that his meatballs were fine and he replied, "They better be." I then left the table and instructed the busser to drop his pizza in the compost garbage can in the back before boxing it up. That's right.
   After I swiped his AMEX Black Card I noticed something. He was sitting with his feet up on the chair of the table next to him and he was wearing UGGs. I mean CLASSIC UGGs. Tan, furry inside, sorority girl late for her 8am class UGGs. I froze. I remember being filled with blind rage. In my mind's eyes I pictured myself reining blow after blow upon him while screaming, "How are your meatballs now you furry booted piece of shit." I pictured strolling out of the restaurant with his girlfriend on my arm and immediately heading back to her place because she was suddenly filled with lust at sight of my Chuck Taylor's. Then I finally snapped to and dropped his check. I couldn't understand it though. What would prompt Barry WallStreet to walk into a shoe store one day and say, "Hey I'm looking for something made popular by twenty year old girls in 2003."? I mean, it's just...how much of a douche can one person be? Ya know?
   I'm a pretty easy goin cat, but when I see some chud strolling along in a pair of those stupid things, I can't take it. No sir, I do not support my fellow man's right to wear UGGs. Not in my America. Not on my watch.


4. Danny Devito is one of the greatest entertainers of all time.
     Have you ever heard the phrase, "I liked the movie, but Danny Devito was awful."? Think about it. I never have. In all of the thousands of countless conversations and arguments I've had with people about film and television, I've never heard a single person say they don't like Danny Devito's work. I've heard lots of people say they hate certain movies of his, (Junior) but never him. I mean, what's not to like. He's an actors actor. A solid hardworking character guy. If you asked my grandmother about Danny Devito she'll tell you she remembers him being absolutely hysterical on TAXI. I remember being a kid and watching Throw Momma From the Train and Twins with my Mom and thinking he was hilarious. Today my friends and I quote him to death because we're all huge It's Always Sunny fans. He's also produced a ton of films over the years not the least of which is a little independent movie called, Pulp Fiction. To top it all off he was in my restaurant a few months ago and couldn't have been nicer. Solid actor, solid customer.




So, that's it. Those are the only four things I really know, and I'm okay with that, at least for right now. Maybe by thirty five I'll add a fifth but four is all I can manage at moment. Happy Friday Gang.