Ping's Clips: The Karate Kid

It's a long one today. It's one of my favorites though. Everyone of us has our own Cobra Kai. They're our negative thoughts and actions that chase us around trying to tell us who we are. If we let them, they'll take over our lives. If we believe in ourselves though, if we fight no matter how scared we might be, no matter how much it hurts, we can beat them. We can win. We can get some of that hot Elizabeth Shue ass.

Enjoy.

Pang Says, "You're the best around. You watch now!!!"

Guidelines and Building Blocks.

      I've been here before...many, many times. It's a dangerous place to be. It's always been a sort of fork in the road for me. I'll be walking along my path for weeks without trouble and suddenly the road splits. One way will take me back the way I came, but I don't want to take that path again. The other will take me forward into the future, into the light.

      Holy shit that's a lot of metaphor for a Tuesday. What am I talking about? It's been roughly eight weeks since I began exercising, watching what I eat, and keeping the blog. I've seen progress and it feels good. I'm 7 runs away from completing the 5K Runner App on my iPhone. So, what's with all of the gloomy shit in the previous paragraph?

    This is usually the time for me when an attempted health change goes south. I get cocky and arrogant, because I get bored. I lose a few pounds and start thinking I can go back to my old ways. In less than half the time it took me to get here, I end up right back where I started. I don't wanna do that this time, gang. I can't. I'm glad that I recognize where I am and how I've treated that place in the past. Now, how keep motivated and keep evolving?

   The blog, and this entire approach to change, has mostly been based on one principal; baby steps. Lots of small changes, that eventually add up to grand results. I didn't try any crazy diets and I don't exercise two hours a day six days a weeks. Here are some things I did do a day at a time.

Cut out soda. Even the diet stuff because Aspartame is the devil.
No fast food. High on calories, no nutrition.
Watch the weed. I like pot and I'll still have a puff, just not every night with a pizza and pint of ice cream.
Run. I'm like a proud parent talking about the 5K Runner App. Truth is though, it's been incredible.
Don't eat late at night. Like a big Italian Mogwai, don't feed me after midnight. Most days, I don't eat after 5pm.
Watch the calories. Say what you want about counting calories, but calories in vs calories out is the very basis of how we lose and gain weight.
Get some color on that plate. More fruit and more veggies.
Watch the sweets. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't eat dessert. Now, maybe once a week.

It was over the course of a month that I collected this list of, I don't even want to call them rules because I don't think of them that way. Guidelines sounds better to me.  They're mine. They're what works for me based on my life and my schedule.

Now it's time to add one more and shake things up a bit. How bout a new App?

Jonah Hill lost a fuck ton of weight last year. I was watching an interview with him a few months back and he had an interesting answer when someone asked him how he lost so much weight. He said that someone told him once that if you do a hundred push up a day, you'll never be out of shape. If Superbad can do it, I can do it.

There's an App called, "Hundred PushUps" being downloaded onto my phone right now. In the same style as the Runner App, it's a week by week guide to helping you achieve the goal of...well doing a hundred push ups I guess. I've heard numerous folks refer to the push up as, "The Perfect Exercise." I hope they're right. I hope this is another building block that keeps me challenged and motivated. Oh, and of course I'll let you know what I think of it.

It's time for a run gang. I hope you're all having a good Tuesday.

Ping's Clips: Miracle

Today's Ping's Clip come to you from the flick, Miracle.

I hope Thursday is good to you.


Ping Says: "You watch Snake!"

A Table Story Part 2: Help

 

    

 If you haven't read the post, A Table Story Part I, you may want to look at it simply because the following will make more sense. It'd be like watching Jedi without seeing Empire...but with less Ewoks. 

Okay, here we go.

     "I'm not telling you that you should lose weight because of how you look. It's not about that. I'm telling you that you should lose weight, because I don't want to see you suffer. I'm old. I know what it's like when you get on in years. Take a look around here. See all these people. You're as good and as smart as any man in this room, but you're paying for something that's not your fault. Someone has their foot on you. There's another person inside of you that I can see, and that person deserves to come out. Like I said, it's not about how you look. Do you understand?"

     The quote above was said to me out of the clear blue sky by a gentleman named Peter. A regular at a restaurant I worked at this past winter. In many ways, it was the catalyst for where I am now and where I'm hopefully headed. 

     I think that people who are thin have an idea about people who are overweight. I feel like that idea goes something like this; that person is heavy because they enjoy being heavy.

     Some folks will tell you that food can be an addiction. I believe process of overeating can certainly be an addictive behavior. To me it was always more of an escape. An escape from the pain of...something.

     If you're overdoing it on anything in life, no matter what it might be, it's usually because you're using that vice as a way to soothe yourself or numb yourself up a bit. A way to take your focus off some deeper issue that's often too much to deal with. Some of those problems may be current and close to the surface, while other may be something from the past. 

    This is why losing weight can be so difficult for so many people. Diet and exercise are hard enough, but if you can't take some time to examine where this awful behavior came from in the first place, they become even harder. Nearly impossible even or at least they feel like that.

     Drugs, booze, Pringles...none of these things are necessarily bad, but our overuse of any of them as a way to avoid dealing with a deeper issue can lead to disaster. That's why it drives me crazy when people are hurtful to others because they simply judge them on an assumption that if they're miserable, they must enjoy being miserable. That's just not the case. I don't know anyone who is extremely unhealthy in one way or another and at the same time are also happy about it. 

     Everyone is different. What's works for me is what works for me and not necessarily someone else. However, this is my blog so all I can do is tell you what works for me. It is still early in my romance with trying to be a better friend to myself. The 20lbs I've lost over the last few weeks are nothing compared to a lifetime. All I can do is take things a day at a time and do my best to stay the course. 

    Before I began the blog, before I began a lot of things lately, I needed to start looking at myself. Why was I letting myself pile misery on top of misery? I was mostly doing it because I wasn't satisfied with my life as it stands. I was focused on the negative. Like Jon Favreau in Swingers, I was focusing on what I don't have instead of what I do. Instead of taking action to make my life better, it was just easier to lie on the couch and stuff my face night after night. Thing is, that never made anything better. It only made it worse. It was a viscous, horrible cycle. 

   If you feel like you're overdoing on food or booze or anything because you're unhappy about work or family or something, you're putting out the fire with gasoline. I feel like a better idea is to take a few steps back, recognize the problem, and ask yourself honestly, "How do I fix this?" And if you don't know how and you need help, ask for it. You will be AMAZED by the amount of people who will be there to help. Once you can look at the problem, really look at it and say to yourself, "I'm better than this." things will fall in line. 

   I'd like to think that the progress I've made these last few weeks is because of me, but it's not. Not entirely anyway. I wrote the first few posts of this blog and all of a sudden I got texts, e-mail, and calls from tons of people saying, “What can I do to help?” I have to tell you reader friends, you're all fucking incredible. I love you and I thank you.

  If you're in the same boat I was in I hope you get out of it. Remember, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to enjoy every second of this life. If it feels like too much and you need some help, all you have to do is ask for it. 

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love & affection. ~Buddha

Enjoy Wednesday Everyone.

     

     

Still Here/Progress

   Friends, how are ya? I missed you guys. There hasn't been a post in two weeks. Please let me assure you that I haven't been hold up in my apartment, stoned, and surrounded by empty cartons of Ben & Jerry's. I've simply been working on other projects. Now, back to basics.

  I made a promise to anyone who reads this and I just want to assure you I'm keeping it. 

  I've continued using my 5k app and hitting the weights when I can. (I suffered a shoulder injury last week so the weights are on hold for a little.) The running is going well. So well in fact that I'm gonna sign up for a 5K with a friend of mine on my birthday this year. 

  I've been eating whatever I want, but just not as much of it. Definitely going for healthier choices and keeping my caloric intake below 2000 calories a day.

  I haven't forgotten my commitment to volunteering either. I'll be making time at a soup kitchen this week.

  The results so far...I dropped 20lbs since this began. It feels good, but there's a lot of work left to do. Miles to go before I sleep. 

  The second part of A Table Story will be up later on today. I hope you’ll check it out and take a look at the last post before you do if you haven't already. 

   Be good to yourselves and have a great Tuesday.

 

A Table Story - Part One: Customer Comments

 I’m an actor and a writer. I’m also a waiter. Over the last nine years or so of running down my dream from college to New York, the service industry has provided my living when my craft and my passion could not. I spend most of my days dreaming about a phone call. It's call from my manager. She tells me that my pilot sold or that I was offered this role or that role and that I should head into work and give them my two weeks notice, because I don't have to be a server anymore. Instead, just a writer and an actor.

The truth is that the service industry has been very good to me. It’s taught me life lessons that I’ll carry with me forever, as well as allowing me to form relationships with some truly incredible people. Industry people in general are hardworking, passionate, crazy, students of human nature. They’re chefs and servers and artists and poets. They’re in at 3pm done at 1am, drink-drink-drink, rinse wash repeat people. Good people. My people. The best part of the restaurant business for me has always been my co-workers. We’re in the foxhole together every day battling our enemies and trying back home again.

I began waiting tables while I was in college. I knew that it would be a while before I was able to make any real money as an actor and that I’d need something to get by on. I can’t sit in an office all day. Nothing against it, I’m just not that guy. So, since I love clichés, I thought I’d give serving a shot. I started at an Applebee’s in Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania. Nine years later, here I am working at one of the best restaurants in New York City. Although I hope and pray for my television career to take off soon, I'm am beyond grateful for the job that I currently have.

I can’t even begin count the number of times over the years that some idiot customer has made a comment to me regarding my weight. Every time it happens I’m amazed by it. Why do people think that it’s okay to make a comment like that to someone they don’t know? Most of them are all the same. They typically go something like this:

Me: Did you have any questions about the menu?

Customer: What do you recommend? You obviously like to eat.

When the fuck did that become okay? Why do people think it's just fine to say something like that? I never recommend something to a table based solely in a few physical details. It'd be like me saying, "Sir, you look like you could use another martini. It's obvious that your Upper East Side stretched/shiny face, cunt wife has been sucking the life out of you these last few years, the same way she's been sucking the fat out of her own ass." 

Okay, I mean, I get it. Actually, a very stupid woman put this into perspective for my about a year ago. This was the conversation:

Stupid Woman: You seem like you really love food.

Me: Who doesn't love food?

Stupid Woman: So are you a chef?

(I don't know what restaurants this bitch has been to in the past where a chef was cooking the food, as well as taking her order, and bringing her a diet coke.)

Me: Um, no. I'm a server.

Stupid Woman: So, you just like to eat. That's why you do this job?

She wasn't trying to be cruel. She was a moron, but not cruel. She taught me something actually. I guess I'm fairly professional at work. I know my shit. I want to give my customers a good experience. I'm in charge of their time and they can never get that back so I do my best to make that time count. I guess that most people assume the following; He's a good waiter. He must really love this business. He must really love food. I get that. That's why I never let a comment like that woman’s bother me too much. They don't know me. They don't know anything about my life or what I'm doing with it. I let that stuff roll off my back. Thankfully, I haven't gotten one of those in a while. 

Also, since we're talking about shit people say to servers I should point something out. Many of the people I work with, work in the service industry because the absolutely love it. They're passionate about food, wine, and hospitality the same way that I am about writing and acting. They're hard working, extremely intelligent individuals. So, don't assume that every server is only doing it while they're searching for their passion. Restaurants are their passion. Remember that the next time you're about to ask your waiter, "So, what do you really want to do?"

Okay, back to my own personal customer interactions. There was one comment a customer made to me a few months back that I'll never forget. It's the reason for this post. In some ways, it's the reason for this blog and all the changes I've been trying to make lately.

I spent this past winter working at a place on the Upper East Side owned by a friend of mine. An upscale Mediterranean spot called, Amali. Amali attracted a certain type of clientele; New Yorkers with Clout. Masters of the island universe known as Manhattan. Doctors, Lawyers, Bankers, Politicians, and famous folks, all regulars at Amali. 

This story is about one regular in particular. A gentleman named, Peter. Peter was in his sixties. He was big in stature, well over six feet, with a beard. He always wore a turtleneck under a blue blazer and walked with a cane. He looked as if he was a retired professor of sorts. He was crazy smart, extremely well spoken, well read, and well mannered. Most of the time he would come in for dinner with his wife and friends of theirs. 

Peter was also a wine geek. He always brought in two or three of his own bottles. We never charged him corkage and he always shared with the staff. The bottles he brought in were ridiculous on several levels. For example, one night he brought in a 1978 Sutter Home Zinfandel (Yup, I know.) that he asked us to open before moving on to the 1983 Margaux he’d also brought. The Sutter Home, ROCKING good believe it or not. 

Peter was in at least once a week during my last month at Amali. He was almost always the last table in the place, but he was also always very kind and insistent on sharing his awesome booze with us so we didn't mind. 

It was my last day at Amali, a Sunday. On Sundays we were generally pretty slow and I was usually the only server on the floor. This Sunday however, we were busy. The room was full with nearly every VIP I'd ever waited on while I was working there. Matt Lauer from the Today show was at his corner table. We had a senator from Arizona in for dinner with his family. Jerry Della Femina, an original Mad Man and the inspiration for Don Draper, was in with his wife and daughter. I could go on. There was just a tremendous amount of power in the dining room. It's like all these people who I'd gotten to know in my short time at that restaurant came in to say goodbye. They didn't. Most had no idea I was leaving. Still thought, it was kinda cool. All these movers and shakers...and Peter. 

Peter came by for an early supper with an old friend of his whose name I forget. He brought in two bottles, as usual, and while I was serving the first one I let him know that it was my last day. He asked me where I was headed and I told him. He told me he appreciated the great service over the last few weeks and I told him I appreciated all the free hooch. 

It was time for dessert. I was telling him and his friend about a rhubarb tart we were offering as a special. His friend asked me, "What's rhubarb?" I explained that rhubarb is a plant with a stalk similar to celery, only it's pink, and it has a kind sweet and sour flavor to it. He said, "Huh, never heard of it." I replied, "Well, I grew up with it. My grandmother always had in her garden. Rhubarb cake was a dessert staple in my house growing up." He nodded and said, "Alright, I'll try it." I looked over at Peter to take his dessert order and he was giving me a strange look. He then very suddenly grabbed me by the forearm and pulled me down so that I was kneeling next to the table, and we were on the same level. Then he spoke to me very quietly and in a serious tone. The following is what he said.

"I'm not telling you that you should lose weight because of how you look. It's not about that. I'm telling you that you should lose weight, because I don't want to see you suffer. I'm old, I know what it's like when you get on in years. Take a look around here. See all these people. You're as good and as smart as any man in this room, but you're paying for something that's not your fault. Someone has their foot on you. There's another person inside of you that I can see, and that person deserves to come out. Like I said, it's not about how you look. Do you understand?"

What do you say to that? I wasn't mad. I wasn't mad at all. I could tell that his words were heartfelt. I also knew that he was right. All I could bring myself to say was, "Alright. Thank you." He replied, "No, don't thank me. Either do it or don't do it. Do you understand?" I shook my head yes and stood up. Peter then proceeded to order an espresso as if the previous conversation never took place.

I walked away from the table in a mild state of shock. My bartender Marvin came up to me and said, "Hey, it's slowing down, man. You should get out of here." I heard him say the words, but I was kind of frozen, processing what was just said to me. Then he spoke up, "Mike, you okay?" I nodded yes. "Alright, then get out of here. I'll finish this up." 

I went down stairs and changed out of my uniform. When I came back up I said goodbye to my co-workers and started heading toward the front door. Peter was still at his table. He stopped me, shook my hand and smiled as he said, "Good luck at the new place. The wife and I will be down to visit sometime." 

I walked off the floor and out into the street. I was still in a fog thinking about what was just said to me. I came back to my apartment and sat by myself for a bit reflecting on the night. I thought carefully about Peter's words. They were so specific to my own life that I found them almost eerie.

I have more to say to you about them, what they meant to me, and what they could mean for anyone overdoing it on anything in their life. But, let's wait until the next post for that. I’m due for some time in the gym today. I plan on making that workout the only labor I do on this Labor Day weekend.

I hope everyone is having a great holiday.

Ping's Clips - Mickey

   This is just good stuff. Enjoy!


Ping Says: "Micky was The Penguin too! You watch now!"

Let's Build Something Together.

 

 I have an idea and I need your help with it. I want to create a workout. Now, I have more than enough resources to go ahead and do this on my own, but I would rather do this with all of you. You, you wonderful, sexy readers you.

     This workout should have one very specific goal; Burn Fat. Most fat burning workouts that I've done in the past or that I've looked at recently all have the same basic premise: Multi-muscle exercises that jump around from one muscle group to another, performed in circuits, no rest between exercises, lite rest between sets. It's that kind of workout that has been proven to stoke the metabolic fire, in turn shredding up fat. 

     So, that's our formula. All we need now are the exercises...that’s where you come in. 

     Tell me what your favorite exercise is. People have recommended workouts in the past and I intend on doing them. Right now though, I want to create one with your help that will become a FKC official workout. I want to take the exercises you tell me about and look at them carefully. Then I'll consult with some professionals about how to make these exercises work best together. Then I'll share the finished routine with you. Then I'll begin using the finished routine for myself. Then I'll be really sore, but ya know, good sore. 

   So that's it. Gimme your ideas and let's build something together. Below is one of my favorite exercises that will probably make its way into the workout along with yours. Thanks and have a happy Wednesday kids.

   

Disclaimer - I am obviously not a trainer or fitness professional of any kind. I'm simply a big dude from Pennsylvania who is trying to be less big. That's it. Before beginning any new workout routine you should consult with your physician. Be safe and be healthy.

 

   


   
   

Diets?

 

   A couple weeks back after writing a post titled, The Battle Plan Part 1, I received several messages from folks who wanted to share their recommendations about diet and exercise.  One message was from my friend and loyal FKC reader, Greg. He told me about a book called, The 4 Hour Body. He said he'd had success with its diet and exercise program and that I should take a look at it. That afternoon I went out and bought a copy.

   I'm American. That means that the second anyone says that they have a super-fast way to lose weight, I'm all ears. The 4 Hour Body promises quick results should you chose to follow their program. The book's weight loss outline follows something called, The Slow Carb Diet. It's essentially this: Six days a week eat only lean protein, legumes, and vegetables. The seventh day, eat as much as you want of whatever you want and drink as much as you want of whatever you want. On the cheat day it's also recommended that you sneak exercise periods in there now and again to keep your metabolism going. So long as you follow this plan the author claims that you can lose roughly 20lbs in a month without exercising. I'm seriously considering taking a shot at this.

   Here are my hesitations. a) I hate legumes. Hate em. b) How long can you possibly keep something like this up for? c) What happens once you go off the diet?

    Remember The Atkins Diet? I remember seeing folks following it like crazy when it first showed up. I too dabbled in it back in college when I was on a health kick where I was steadily losing weight and then out of nowhere I plateaued. I remember losing 7lbs in one week while I was on Atkins. I also remember having headaches, feeling sluggish, and generally being miserable. A few years back I was reading an article on fad diets, I believe in Men's Health, which made me dismiss Atkins and Diets like it all together. I'm sorry that I don't remember the name of the person who said this, but I just can't forget what they said, "Only in America will people believe that bacon is healthier than an Apple."

   When I reformatted the blog I made a promise to myself that I would approach diet and exercise different this time. No crazy plans, no crazy promises. Slow and steady wins the race. This month has been pretty good, certainly better than the several before it. I'm looking forward to gym today as well as my run. My plates are filled with more fruits and vegetables. I lost a notch on my belt. That being said, I want to step it up. I want to move this along a bit. 

  My question to you; Are there diets, crazy or otherwise, that have worked for you? Do you like them? Why do you like them? What happened when you stopped them? Has anyone else looked into The 4 Hour Body approach?

You know the drill. Comment or Facebook message. You thoughts and opinions are always valued more than you know dear reader friends. Thanks and everyone have a good Monday.

Ping's Clips: Rudy

   Your Ping's Clip today comes to you courtesy of one of the greatest football movies of all time.

After your workout today be sure to ask yourself, "Who's the wild man now?!"

Ping Says, "You watch the Hobbit!!!"

CI - 8/20 - 1654

CI - 8/21 - 1905

CI - 8/22 - 2403

CI - 8/23 - 1993

One for the Kids

       
       Watch the video below. At least the first half.

     

       Greg Giraldo. One of my favorite comedians of all time.

     

   Over the past few weeks I've been doing quite a bit of research on weight loss, nutrition, and obesity. Know what? We're a country full of fat fucks. Know what else? Our children, the leaders of tomorrow, the future, and our shining stars...are sadly just as unhealthy. That bothers me. 

   I don't have kids, not sure if I want kids, rarely think about kids with the exception of my niece who is a thankfully at a very healthy weight. However, since I've been doing all this research on getting healthy, I've grown slightly concerned about all my little chunky comrades across the U.S. who at some point during their back-to-school shopping this year will take a moment and wonder, "What's husky mean? And why does it say it on my jeans?" I understand. I used to be a fat little kid. Truth be told, I still am in some ways. If all goes well and I lose some lbs, no matter how many, part of me will always be a fat little kid.

       I am not qualified to give advice about how to talk to your child or any child about getting healthy. What I can do is tell you what it might be like for them. 

       

      For me it started when I was really little. I remember being like four or five, and sitting in my pediatrician's office. Dr. Landau. He would always come into the room and the first thing he would do was pinch what is now my gut and say, "Whoa, what's this? Guess there's a spare tire in there." Every fucking visit. Poke my fat, insult me a little, get a vaccination shot, hand me some candy on the way out.

       I have dreams, fantasies really, of being able to travel back in time into my own consciousness. The same way they did in that shitty movie, The Butterfly Effect. I would enter own mind with my thoughts as they are now, only inside the five year old version of myself. I would go back to a doctor visit day. When that bald schmuck walked in the room and pinched my side, before he even got the first flicker of an insult out of his mouth, I'd raise my pudgy finger and let him have it. "HEY!! I'M FIVE!!! FIVE, YOU INCONSIDERATE OVERPAID PIECE OF SHIT!!! YOU'RE DOING PERMANENT DAMAGE TO ME!!!" 

       It wasn't just him though. I come from a big extended family. Uncles, Older Cousins, and family friends loved giving me shit about my weight as a kid. I guess they thought it was harmless, maybe just a bunch of bullies who never grew up themselves. When you're little though and any adult you look up to makes fun of you...it sucks. It sucks badly. At that age you have no way to defend yourself. No ways to strike back or even at the very least make some kind of joke where you can shift the attention somewhere else. You just take the hit. Then you take your blanket, a juice box, and a half dozen Dunk-a-roos over to the television and hunker down for the rest of the day because the Super Friends aren't giving me any crap about my weight right now.

    I was primarily raised by my mother and my grandmother. Although I know for a fact that they were concerned about my weight, I'm not sure they ever really knew how to deal with it without hurting my feelings or depriving me of food. We're Italian by the way. If you didn't know it, my people equate food with love and my family loved me very much. So much so that the extent of talking to me about nutrition was, "Honey, you need to stop eating so much junk food. It's not good for you. Do you understand? Good, now have another plate of lasagna." 

   My weight, especially now, is not my family's fault. Not even close. Also, whatever references I may make to my family or my childhood in this blog, now and forever know this; I had an incredible upbringing and was raised by wonderful people who I love very, very much. My biggest gains came in my twenties. I was long out of the house and on my own. Plus, back then childhood obesity wasn't the epidemic it is today, especially in a place like Pennsylvania. If a kid was big back then, he or she was just big. Noting to get crazy over. Just keep an extra box of popsicles in the freezer and all is well. Things are different now though. This is a very real problem our kids today are facing. These unhealthy kids will grow up to be unhealthy adults and then they'll have to start a blog when they turn thirty to keep them in line about how they take care of themselves. Lemme tell ya, there's probably a better way.

   Again, I don't have kids and I know very little about them. What I do know, is that it's much easier to adopt healthy habits early on in life. The older you get, the harder it becomes. 

  If there’s a little one in your fam with a weight problem, here’s my advice on how to deal with it based solely on my own experience.

a. Don't make fun of them. They're KIDS. Got that? They don't have the intellectual capability to handle it. No matter how harmless you think that joke might be, in the end all you're saying to them is, "Hey, you're different than everyone else and not in a good way."

b. Get them involved in something athletic. Football, basketball, soccer, dancing. (I was required to take a ballet class in college because I was a theater major. Think what you want, those broads have some rockin bodies.) Like I said in an earlier post, I wrestled for one year. Even though I was absolutely terrible, I dropped 40lbs in one season without missing a sandwich. Team sports, wish I played more of em.

c. If you're their parent or guardian, give them the best choices you can food-wise. No matter how old we get, the food we eat when we're young will stay with us and provide us with some sense of comfort as adults. One of my all-time favorite foods is the Egg McMuffin. Why? My grandparents would take me to McDonald's every Thursday morning when I was a kid. Whenever I take a bite of one, and I haven't since I started this blog, it takes me right back there. People who eat when they're stressed, which is what overweight adults tend to do, go right for that thing from childhood that makes them feel safe. Let that thing be apple slices with almond butter, not chips and soda.

d. Set the best example you can. I know that's easy for someone like me to say, I can barely take care of a house plant, but do your best. It's for your kids.

That's all I got. Like I said, not an expert. But I can’t keep a blog called The Fat Kid Chronicles and not address this major problem at least once. Want advice from some experts? Follow the links below and then talk with your family physician. 

http://www.parents.com/kids/teens/weight-loss/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-losing-weight/

http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/body/overweight_obesity.html

http://fatfightertv.com/blog/2009/02/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-obesity/

Okay, now back to iPhone Apps and Movie Clips.

Happy Wednesday everyone.

Blue Monday

     It's around noon on Monday. I'm coming off of a weekend of, well...too much I guess. Saturday I hosted a bachelor party for a good friend of mine. Most of the day was dedicated to either eating or drinking. I did a lot of both. My hangover yesterday was epic. I order to battle it I sought comfort in more terrible food and drink. Last night I went a birthday party for a good friend of mine in Williamsburg that ended at roughly 4:00AM with a baked me purchasing enough processed, chemically enhanced food at my local bodega to put a gorilla in a sugar coma for a week. 

     I have a clear picture in my head of myself from last night standing in front of the bag of nonsense I bought just before I went to bed last night. Luckily I only ate about a quarter of it before I took a step back and literally said to myself, "I can't do this." I threw all that was left in the trash. I know that sounds wasteful. I was raised to never waste food so it's rare that I make a move like that. However, a year or so ago I read an article in Men's Health talking about tossing out what you're too stuffed to finish versus eating it so to not be wasteful. The article said the following and I think about this phrase quite often. "Even if you consume the food so as not to be wasteful, it's still going to waste...as fat in your body."  

    How do I feel today? Not too good. My veins feel like salt and oil are coursing through them. My stomach is still kind of a mess and my general sense of moral is low. The older I get, the more sensitive I become to what goes into my body. I've been feeling great these last few weeks since I started the blog. It's a combination of the exercise, the healthier foods, and all of your support and well wishes. I've spent most of my mornings these last few years feeling like I do right now. After these last few weeks, I know that there is a better way to move through life. Although I over did it this weekend (And I planned on it. Just look at the previous post.) I had no idea it would come back to me so hard. 

   All I can do now, all any of us can ever do when we slip and fall, is pick ourselves up and move forward. I've stated in previous posts that this blog is also a journal. I felt it would be disingenuous to not talk about how I feel at this moment. To document it so I might remember it and in the future, avoid it. I wish there was something more positive here for you today reader friends. I wish there was something funnier, but this is what today is. All I can do is promise myself that tomorrow I'll do better.

Have a good Monday.

Fruit Salads and Dancing Girls

     In keeping with all that I've been striving toward, I woke up on the early side this morning. My breakfast was a whole grain English muffin and some fruit. Oh, and lots of water. Then a run through Fort Greene. What's next for today?

      I'm about to drink enough beer and whiskey to put Chewbacca down. I'm gonna eat pizza til I'm stuffed. I'm probably gonna hafta pull a twenty dollar bill out of a stripper's secret place with my teeth.

     No, I didn't hit Powerball the other night. I'm simply hosting a bachelor for a friend. Although I've been working hard to make positive changes in my life, sometimes ya just gotta say "Fuck it. Today is just gonna be what it is." For so long I thought that change is an all or nothing thing. If I eat or drink crap today, then the week is shot and I'll just try and start over again in a few days. 

    It doesn't have to be like that.

    Balance. The Lost Ark of The Fat Kid Chronicles. Most of my week was about running and fruit salads. I'm gonna let the rest of today be about Booze and Cheesy Carbs...and probably strippers.

    I hope everyone has a great Saturday.



CI-8/17/2012 - 1935
CI-8/16/2012 - 1874

Hospice/Chasing Whimsies

 

     In the post, The Debt I Owe, I mentioned how I thought that some volunteer work on the reg would be a good idea. Specifically, something where helping to feed others is the main focus. The restaurant I work at, as well as some of the others in our group, take food a few times a month over to Beth Israel Hospital and feed hospice patients and their family members. I went on Tuesday for the first time.

    Like so many experiences in this life the visit was a combination of emotions. Most of the patients in hospice care are not going to get better; they're simply trying to get comfortable. As my fellow volunteers and I took food into the rooms, we saw some very sick people surrounded by their kids, husbands, wives, and friends. Everyone doing their best to make peace with what was happening. All I and the others could offer was a smile and some good food. Hopefully a tiny bit of comfort, if only for a few moments. It was humbling.

   We tend to walk around avoiding the ideas of death and dying, trying to constantly push away the notion that we're not promised tomorrow. In the movie, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, (A FKC Endorsement) Joe Cross travels around our country, as he's on a 60 day juice cleanse, talking to folks about their eating habits and lifestyle. Many of these people obese, living a fairly sedimentary life. He asked them if they would ever consider a juice cleanse for themselves. Nearly everyone said no to the idea. When he asked them why, almost everyone had the same answer, "I don't wanna not live, man." The irony of it all was ridiculous. People over doing it on food that's absolutely terrible for them, taking years off their lives, all because they don't want to, "Not live." I get it though. How long have I been doing that same shit?

    Life is short friends. Too short to never have a slice of pizza or a bowl of ice cream again, but also too short to be constantly filling ourselves with the kinds of food that lead to all sorts of health troubles.   The reason this blog came about was because I began to recognize my own problems and unhealthy ways. Every single one of us will face death someday, but why contribute to it any more than we need to? Seeing those patients in the hospice center reminded me that someday we'll all deal with our own end and we don't know when or how that will be. Right now at this moment though, we're here. While we're here, let make sure we're being good to ourselves. Eat some vegetables, go for that run, sign up for that iron man. Why? Because we don't wanna not live, man. 

    Below is your Ping’s Clip for the day. I posted this awhile back so for those of you who are already familiar with this please forgive the repeat. This is all I could think about after my hospice visit. I heard this clip a few months ago and I still think about it every day. From one of my heroes, Mr. Kevin Smith.

Ping says, "Mike looks like Kevin Smith! You Listen Now!!"

CI-8/15/2012-2478 

The Battle Plan: Part 2

      I fucking hate exercising. I really, really do. I’ve never ever, not once in my life, been excited to exercise. I wish I was. God, how I wish I was one of the crazy bastards who spouts phrases like, “I can’t wait to go running tomorrow! It’s gonna feel so good, bro.” Is there something I missed? Does running, lifting, spinning, rock climbing, or boxing ever feel like a massage while you’re doing it? The only thing I’ve ever thought to myself when I’m doing any of that shit is, “Please be over! I want my couch! Can that girl see me crying?” I never feel good during a workout. However, the second it’s over, I feel great. I feel reborn, accomplished, energized, and well…happy. Then, I carry those feelings with me for the rest of the day and they help keep me from doing stupid shit. For example getting baked and buying Cool Ranch Doritos, Queso Dip, a box of Dots, and a pint Cake Batter Ice Cream. (Actual bodega purchase last month.)

      Given the fact that I hate working out, but I need to make it ritual for several reasons, I want to get the most out of it in the shortest amount of time possible. I also realize that it’ll take time for my body to get used to it again and that overdoing things too early and rushing back into crazy routines you’re not ready for is the path to injury and fatigue. Here’s the plan I’ve begun. I’m going to be looking for suggestions, ideas, and feedback. Please comment, post on my wall, or facebook message me. I can comfortably dedicate four days a week to working out. I’d love to be at five and six days in the future. For the moment, I’m pleased as punch if I make hit my four day a week mark.

Here’s what I got so far:

    The 5K runner app for the iPhone. I’m really, really digging this. I set the app to the appropriate day, turn some music on, and every couple minutes the app tells me when to run, when to walk, and when to stop. The workouts at the beginning take roughly half an hour. I use the app every other day. It takes a little more than 8 months to complete all of the workouts. What I really love about it now thought, is that the workouts are one minute bursts of running, followed by one minute rest periods where you walk instead of run. The reason I like that, aside from the little breaks, is that I’m not only working on running. I’m interval training.

    Nearly all of the literature I’ve read about getting back in shape over the past few months points to interval training as the quickest way to stoke the metabolic fires. Most of you already know this, but Interval training is simply one form of exercise or another broken up into ever changing segments of work and rest. Men’s Health Magazine, a FKC endorsement, consistently refers to interval training as one of the best ways to burn up fat. Click here for a classic interval workout.

    In addition to the running, I gotta hit the weights. Believe it or not, I have a lot of muscle. It’s simply buried deep below the surface, kinda like the Titanic. I just need to raise that shit. I don’t want to put on mass obviously, just shred the fat for now. Below is a Men’s Health get back in shape workout that I’ve used, well…every time I've tried to get back in shape these last couple years. It’s always works right up until the point where I fuck it up by skipping a day here or there, then another, and then before you know it, “Yeah hi, Papa John’s? Yeah, do you guys sell that garlic sauce in anything besides the little cups? I have an empty growler here, can I just come down there and fill this hog up?” Anyway, this is my work out between the 5K days.

5 minute warm-up & active stretching

Squats

Push-ups

Triceps Pull Down

Shoulder Press

Lat Pull Downs

Upright Row

Dumbbell Curls

Hamstring Curl

Leg Extension

Bridge

Perform all exercises, 10 reps each, one after another with no rest in between. Rest 2 minutes between sets. Repeat two more times for a total of three massive super sets. Finish with 20 minutes of light cardio and static stretching.

So, this is what I have as my workout for the moment. I hope to try out all kinds of different exercises and workouts over the course of this journey so that I can share them with you. This is what I’m working with for the time being. Like I said before, I invite your advice, comments, and ideas.

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday.

CI-8/13/2012-1931
CI-8/14/2012-1950

The Debt I Owe

   
      I must say that's it's been really inspiring and heartwarming to have people coming up to me or writing me and saying how much they enjoy the blog and that they're rooting for me. It's a wonderful thing. However, I think it's necessary to go ahead and acknowledge something before I write another word about a fitness app or my favorite Cliff Bar flavor. 

      There are people all over the world, in this country, in my city who starve every day. I believe a study done less than two years ago revealed that 1 in 6 American children are food insecure. They simply don't know where there next meal is coming from. How are we the fattest country in the world, yet we can't even feed our own children? That is fucking tragic.

       It can't help but bother me that there are people near and far who don't know how they're going to feed their family tomorrow, and I'm sitting here like a fat bitch patting myself on the back for finally eating the amount of food that a normal person should eat. "Throw me a parade everyone! I only ate one omelet for breakfast this morning! Build me a monument because I didn't down a pint of Coffee Heath Bar Crunch for breakfast! Awesome!!" 

        I'm exaggerating of course, but you understand what I mean. If you added up all of the unnecessary stuff I've eaten over the years, how many people could have had a hot meal that otherwise would have gone without? If I dedicated just one night a week to helping out at a soup kitchen or a food bank, instead of sitting on the couch with a joint and enough Chinese Food to feed a small village on the other side of the world, how many people could I have helped? 

      The Fat Kid Chronicles is about my search for balance. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Something that helps me sort out all that goes on in my head as I try to fix some serious problems. I've heard many times that keeping a food/exercise journal is a great way to monitor your progress. That's what this is for me. It's helping me keep myself honest. You reading it, is helping me keep myself honest.

      Looking back over these last few weeks I've realized something. I owe a debt. I owe a debt to people everywhere who were going hungry, when I was over doing it. There are food banks, soup kitchens, organizations everywhere dedicated to feeding those struggling to find their next meal. I think I need to spend some time there. (The volunteers are allowed to eat the food too, right?) KIDDING!!! Just kidding everyone. I'd hate for things to get too serious around here.

       The company I work for deliver's food to hospice patients and their families a couple of times a month. That's where I'm going to begin. If you know of organizations out there who need volunteers, shout em out. I'll be doing some research myself these next few days. This is one debt I need to pay off…unlike my student loans. They gave all that money to someone going to school for THEATRE. Where the fuck did they think I was getting the coin from to pay that shit back? Kidding! Just kidding American Education Services. This month’s check is in the mail.

I hope everyone has a Happy and Healthy Monday. 

CI-8/12/2012-1875

Ping's Clips: Your Daily Dumpling of Motivation

  Today Ping brings us a clip from a man who I can honestly say is one of the reasons I became an actor. A great inspirational speech from a sorta okay movie.

Ping says, "You watch Al!!!"

CI-8/11/2012-1679

The Battle Plan: Part 1

      

      Since I've changed the format of The Fat Kid Chronicles people have either been writing me, or calling me, or coming up to me and saying, "Hey I read the blog and I have a couple of ideas for you." Let me tell you something, that is wonderful thing. I want dialogue to come from this. Some folks will come and offer advice. People have offered to train me. I've gotten recommendations on new fitness apps and all kinds of new healthy foods to try. All great stuff.

     Have you guys ever seen the movie, Angus? I've seen most of it on TBS at one point or another. I remember wanting to see it because James Van Der Beek was in it and I was a big Dawson's Creek fan in high school. (Yeah, I know what I said. The Creek, seen every episode of that shit. Big deal, wanna fight about it?) Anyway, Angus. There's this line I remember from the flick. I couldn't find the exact quote on IMDB so I'm paraphrasing here, but the lines go something like this. 

   The girl Angus likes, this cheerleader, is having a bit of a breakdown at the end of the movie and confesses a secret to Angus. She looks at him at one point and says, "I'm bulimic. Do you know what that is?" Angus responds, "Of course I know what that is. I'm a Fat Kid!" 

   I don't consider myself an expert on anything...okay, maybe Dawson's Creek. Seriously though, I’m certain that over the course of my journey toward a leaner me I'll learn a great deal about health and nutrition that I didn’t know before. However, being that I too am an Angus style big dude, which after typing that I realize sounds like the next burger creation coming from McDonald's this fall, I too know quite a bit about fitness and nutrition. I've been educating myself about it since I was in junior high. I sadly just decided to not apply any of it...until now.

   Let's talk about a battle plan. Let's talk about how exactly I plan to make this work. Now I know that once I list some of the ways I’m going to approach this, some of you will say, "No Mergs, that's not right." That's okay! I invite you to disagree. If you think you have a better idea, let's hear it. I also know that some of these ideas may not seem like enough. Some of them don't seem like enough to me, but remember that the point of this approach is starting small and then building on those successes. Like my man Kevin Smith says, "You gotta do the little goals too. Sometimes you just gotta lay the bar down and step over it, so you can feel accomplished.” Okay, here we go.

The Food

    Someone told me once that nutrition holds roughly 90% of the keys to weight loss. I agree. 

    First, let's create a caloric deficit. Some folks will say that you shouldn't count calories. I disagree. I think it's a must especially in the beginning. I've spoken to nutritionists, I've plugged my stats into a new app that I'll talk about in a moment, I've read up. I can take in 2400 calories a day, and stay the same weight. That's what it takes to run my body for one day. We all know that in order to lose weight we must take in fewer calories than we burn. So, I'm looking to take in just under 2000. Even without exercising, that number should technically be low enough that I would drop a pound or two a week. I'm hoping that with the workouts it'll be two to three pounds per week. That's the neighborhood I want to live in.

    There's an app for the iPhone called, "Lose It!" I's essentially a fancy food journal. It allows you to keep track of caloric intake as well as carbs, protein, sodium, and so on. It's super easy to use and I'm giving it a FKC endorsement. (I think it’s tragic and hilarious that the abbreviation for my blog is the jumbled version of KFC.) I'll record all I take in on the app. Along with that, okay deep breath; I will list my caloric intake right here, every day.  The letters CI/The Date/The Number, will be listed every day, starting today. 

    Now, let's make those calories count. I'm going to allow myself just about anything so long as it doesn't put me over that limit. There are two terrible key things that I've gotten rid of in the past week. Soda, including diet soda, and fast food. For some reason those two monsters have crept back into my life over these last few months and the extra calories I've taken in from them are ridiculous. Neither of the two provides any nutritional value and I've felt quite good about ditching them. 

   I'm also going to try to drastically reduce sweets and any refined sugars, white flours, and starchy carbs like my friend the potato. I'm also going to cut down, but not cut out, dairy. Let's now up the intake of vegetables, fruit, and lean protein. Breads, pasta, and rice should be brown whenever eaten. Coffee, tea, and club soda will be my drinks of choice. Also, water. Lots and lots of water.

   The booze...I mean, why does everything awesome in life have to be bad for you? I'm going to keep it to one day a week and be much more sensible about it. It too will be recorded. The truth is, booze is just horrible for you. There are no health benefits other than the one glass of red wine a day thing. It's just empty calories that fuck up your metabolism and pack on the pounds. It has to be closely monitored if weight loss is going to happen. So, I'll still see my friends Mr. Daniels and Mr. Jameson, just not as much.

   Also, let’s break the meals up. Six small meals a day is annoying and not convenient for me personally. Four meals a day works better. Also, I go to bed around 2:00AM every day. That being the case, let's make the last meal of the day happen no later than 9:00PM.

So, that’s where I’m starting with the food part of things. Like I said feedback is welcome. As far as the exercise portion of the show, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to tell you about that. Right now I gotta run. I want to hit the gym before work.

Enjoy your Saturday gang.

The Fat Kid Chronicles Presents: "Ping's Clips."

  Ping, our mascot, (If you don't know how Ping ended up with me please see The Panda Story post) has demanded his own little piece of the blog. In order to shut him up, I'm giving it to him. Ping's Clips, will be little dumplings of motivation handed out every few days in order to give us all that little extra shot in the ass.

 When I think about great acting only three names comes to mind: Daniel Day Lewis, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Sly "Motha-Fuckin" Stallone. Watch the video below to see the Italian Stallion land some knowledge like it was a right hook.

Ping says, "You watch this now!!!"

Re-channeled/A Fat Kid Endorsement.

     As I've been shuffling along toward a healthier me, I've been trying to figure out when exactly I should begin exercising again.
     I was having a conversation with someone today, someone I'm close with, and we were chatting about the blog and life in general. It was a nice conversation, until the end. This person made a comment, an attempt at humor, that turned out to be quite hurtful. It stung a great deal to be honest with you.It ruined whatever good mood I was in today and I wasn't quiet sure how to deal with it. Should I call them back and yell at them? Should I write them an angry e-mail? Should I smoke a bowl and try to forget it. Should I smoke a bowl, go to Shake Shack and try to forget it? No, not today.  Today, let's try something else.
    Weeks ago I downloaded an app for my iPhone called, 5K Runner. The app is designed to take someone who hasn't worked out in quite some time, and lead them little by little over the course of eight weeks to being able to run a full 5K. I was walking around my apartment upset from the earlier conversation, trying to figure out exactly what to do, and I noticed my phone sitting in front of me. I grabbed it, my Nike's, my ear buds, and headed for the park.
    On my way to the park and turned on some Eminem and opened the 5K app. I hit the day one workout button and a voice came on over my music and said, "Walk briskly for five minutes." I did. After the five minutes were up the voice came on again and said, "Begin running." After a minute the voice came on again. "Slow down and walk." It repeated this pattern over and over. I began to forget about why I was so upset earlier. I remembered that no one in this life gets to define who you are, except for you. I stopped thinking about that bullshit comment from earlier, and started thinking about my breathing. I kept reminding myself to keep my core tight. Pretty soon the voice said, "You've reached the halfway point." When my legs would ache I just reminded myself that pain is weakness leaving the body. Then before I knew it I heard, "Congratulations! Your workout is finished. See you in a couple days." If you have any desire to begin running, I highly recommend this app.
   Once I finished I was standing in front of the Prison Ship Martyrs' Monument, the tallest spot in Fort Greene Park. I was covered in sweat. The sun was beating down on me and a breeze blew across my face. I let the warm August air fill my lungs. I looked over the trees, past the city skyline, and out at the Carolina Blue sky. I felt better than I have in months. The pain from earlier was gone, my workout was finished, I felt accomplished for the first time in weeks, and the only thought in my head was, "Let's see how many push-ups I can do."