The Battle Plan: Part 2

      I fucking hate exercising. I really, really do. I’ve never ever, not once in my life, been excited to exercise. I wish I was. God, how I wish I was one of the crazy bastards who spouts phrases like, “I can’t wait to go running tomorrow! It’s gonna feel so good, bro.” Is there something I missed? Does running, lifting, spinning, rock climbing, or boxing ever feel like a massage while you’re doing it? The only thing I’ve ever thought to myself when I’m doing any of that shit is, “Please be over! I want my couch! Can that girl see me crying?” I never feel good during a workout. However, the second it’s over, I feel great. I feel reborn, accomplished, energized, and well…happy. Then, I carry those feelings with me for the rest of the day and they help keep me from doing stupid shit. For example getting baked and buying Cool Ranch Doritos, Queso Dip, a box of Dots, and a pint Cake Batter Ice Cream. (Actual bodega purchase last month.)

      Given the fact that I hate working out, but I need to make it ritual for several reasons, I want to get the most out of it in the shortest amount of time possible. I also realize that it’ll take time for my body to get used to it again and that overdoing things too early and rushing back into crazy routines you’re not ready for is the path to injury and fatigue. Here’s the plan I’ve begun. I’m going to be looking for suggestions, ideas, and feedback. Please comment, post on my wall, or facebook message me. I can comfortably dedicate four days a week to working out. I’d love to be at five and six days in the future. For the moment, I’m pleased as punch if I make hit my four day a week mark.

Here’s what I got so far:

    The 5K runner app for the iPhone. I’m really, really digging this. I set the app to the appropriate day, turn some music on, and every couple minutes the app tells me when to run, when to walk, and when to stop. The workouts at the beginning take roughly half an hour. I use the app every other day. It takes a little more than 8 months to complete all of the workouts. What I really love about it now thought, is that the workouts are one minute bursts of running, followed by one minute rest periods where you walk instead of run. The reason I like that, aside from the little breaks, is that I’m not only working on running. I’m interval training.

    Nearly all of the literature I’ve read about getting back in shape over the past few months points to interval training as the quickest way to stoke the metabolic fires. Most of you already know this, but Interval training is simply one form of exercise or another broken up into ever changing segments of work and rest. Men’s Health Magazine, a FKC endorsement, consistently refers to interval training as one of the best ways to burn up fat. Click here for a classic interval workout.

    In addition to the running, I gotta hit the weights. Believe it or not, I have a lot of muscle. It’s simply buried deep below the surface, kinda like the Titanic. I just need to raise that shit. I don’t want to put on mass obviously, just shred the fat for now. Below is a Men’s Health get back in shape workout that I’ve used, well…every time I've tried to get back in shape these last couple years. It’s always works right up until the point where I fuck it up by skipping a day here or there, then another, and then before you know it, “Yeah hi, Papa John’s? Yeah, do you guys sell that garlic sauce in anything besides the little cups? I have an empty growler here, can I just come down there and fill this hog up?” Anyway, this is my work out between the 5K days.

5 minute warm-up & active stretching

Squats

Push-ups

Triceps Pull Down

Shoulder Press

Lat Pull Downs

Upright Row

Dumbbell Curls

Hamstring Curl

Leg Extension

Bridge

Perform all exercises, 10 reps each, one after another with no rest in between. Rest 2 minutes between sets. Repeat two more times for a total of three massive super sets. Finish with 20 minutes of light cardio and static stretching.

So, this is what I have as my workout for the moment. I hope to try out all kinds of different exercises and workouts over the course of this journey so that I can share them with you. This is what I’m working with for the time being. Like I said before, I invite your advice, comments, and ideas.

Hope everyone has a good Wednesday.

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CI-8/14/2012-1950